Natalie in LA LA LAND

Last month when I was forst approached to work a Navy base near Seattle WA, I was so excited I immediately saud yes. Maybe I should have asked a few questions first, but I really didn't care because I miss my family so very much and being so close to them for 2 weeks was just an opportunity I couldn't pass up. So, when they asked me to stay and work a second base after, I would as long as I could have at least 3 days off in between to visit my family. Not a problem.

Well a couple days ago I learned that someone decided to change their mind. I don't know why but they asked for and got approval to open the next base earlier. So now I only have one day off in between. Tough I was very unhappy with this change when I read the e-mail, I couldn't find a logical reason for refusing to open early. Oh I could say, "You promised!!" like a spoiled child. OR "I need to rest!" but I know they can easily refute these things. "We have to do what is best for the company, you had two days off during the 11 day run...etc..." and so I told them that I was officially, reluctantly agreeing. I thought that i could have peace with that.

But now as I get closer to that time I was supposed to have off and see my aunts and cousins and grandparents...that time I was supposed to spend running joyfully around Portland and out with my cousin for her b-day... the more I wish I refused. And I can't help it, but I am upset that we are opening on tuesday instead of thursday. I am frustrated that I don't even know what time I'm expected to be at the new base on Tuesday. And I need to vent about it. I need to let that out. ...and I need to make sure that I don't write anything to negative about it on facebook because my coworkers/managers might see it.

I want to be adult about all this. At the same time I want to make sure they aren't walking all over me.

...sigh... This feels like a reoccuring problem of my life. When will I finally overcome it for good?