This is 4 am Revelations by Damien Christopher:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DrrfsfaWwVI
And I predict that this year will be a year of great accomplishment.
...coming soon. Keep an open eye. I will post the link here as soon as it comes out/I get it. :)
So happy!!
This is has been a great Christmas!
I'm so glad to be here with my Liz to love her! ...with my Olivia to listen to her! ...my James to play games with! ...my Caitlyn to laugh with! ...my Dad to talk with! ...My Ian to annoy! ...my Mom to hug! ...my family all...
I know I have had a better Christmas than some. I know this Christmas has been a miracle. And while I love my new home in LA, I am so excited to finally get back... but sad to leave my family behind. But I don't want to dwell on that.
So I am thankful for my time here. And all of the great gifts I received! I am grateful that everyone liked the gifts I gave....even though they weren't on anyone's list... :)
I got a some Awesome shoes from Liz!! And some cool Boots from my parents. Tons of clothes between Parents and Sister. And a gift card from my brother! What a great christmas.
We saw movies and ate a ton of great food. I have been spoiled in the best way. And though, I know no one reads this: Thank you thank you thank you.
This is has been a great Christmas!
I'm so glad to be here with my Liz to love her! ...with my Olivia to listen to her! ...my James to play games with! ...my Caitlyn to laugh with! ...my Dad to talk with! ...My Ian to annoy! ...my Mom to hug! ...my family all...
I know I have had a better Christmas than some. I know this Christmas has been a miracle. And while I love my new home in LA, I am so excited to finally get back... but sad to leave my family behind. But I don't want to dwell on that.
So I am thankful for my time here. And all of the great gifts I received! I am grateful that everyone liked the gifts I gave....even though they weren't on anyone's list... :)
I got a some Awesome shoes from Liz!! And some cool Boots from my parents. Tons of clothes between Parents and Sister. And a gift card from my brother! What a great christmas.
We saw movies and ate a ton of great food. I have been spoiled in the best way. And though, I know no one reads this: Thank you thank you thank you.
I keep telling people the same story over and over about what's going on in my life. I am so annoyed with myself...but I don't seem to have anything else to say so: I am going to write said story here ion hope that then I can feel that it is out and I won't have to talk about it anymore.
Ok. So I was on big time probation at work. Because of stuff that happend in Minnesota that wasn't toally my fault. Didn't really care. I was trusting God to keep me on the path he laid out for me. To continue taking care of me. And I thought, this is good. I don't have to worry about other people I can focuss on my own grosses.
So I talked to one of our higher ups about it. I asked if I was still a trainer or not. And I really didn't care what she said. But she said that I was and they retrained me to teach newhires our demos. And everthing has gone up from there. In October I trained a group in San Diego. Then they asked me to go to Washington in November. And my manager said she would like to see me become the Unit Trainer (new promotion) after I get more experience training (i.e. after I get back from WA). While I was in Washington they asked me to train again in December in Phoenix, beause I have family there. And when I get back to LA after Christmas I will be the Unit Trainer here. So over the past year, I have received 2 promotions by God's grace and will hopefully continue to distinguish myself here.
But, you may think, working for UsJesco isn't your life goal, is it? I thought you want to be an actor.
I do. I absolutely do. But i don't want to live in my car while persuing a dream and I know that some people have and they made it. If God tells me to quit my job and live in my car until I get a brake out roll to launch my career I'll do that. If He tells me to get a new or a different job, I'll do that. But I beleive these promotions are from God and this job is a means to an end: that being to support me as I persue acting here in LA.
But I have made some progress on that side to. I am developing connections. I have just recently finished writing a screenplay and I am almost through with the first draft of revisions. I have acted in a friend's music video. I also signed up with LA Casting and Central Casting.
So here is my new plan for the coming year: As a unit trainer I make a base salery for an additional 8hrs of work on top of my shifts and commission. This means I can potentially take off a week from shifts in January to audition, work the 8hrs to get the base pay while I still have commission coming in from my trainees. I can start shopping my script, and potentially play the lead in it. Or produce it myself on a lower budget. I can move into my own house/appartment...
Little by little by little... I am making progress. But most important is that I make progress in my walk with God. That at every step i draw nearer to Him. And what I want for the coming days, months and years more than anything is to walk in God's empowering Grace and to strengthan my relationship with him.
Ok. So I was on big time probation at work. Because of stuff that happend in Minnesota that wasn't toally my fault. Didn't really care. I was trusting God to keep me on the path he laid out for me. To continue taking care of me. And I thought, this is good. I don't have to worry about other people I can focuss on my own grosses.
So I talked to one of our higher ups about it. I asked if I was still a trainer or not. And I really didn't care what she said. But she said that I was and they retrained me to teach newhires our demos. And everthing has gone up from there. In October I trained a group in San Diego. Then they asked me to go to Washington in November. And my manager said she would like to see me become the Unit Trainer (new promotion) after I get more experience training (i.e. after I get back from WA). While I was in Washington they asked me to train again in December in Phoenix, beause I have family there. And when I get back to LA after Christmas I will be the Unit Trainer here. So over the past year, I have received 2 promotions by God's grace and will hopefully continue to distinguish myself here.
But, you may think, working for UsJesco isn't your life goal, is it? I thought you want to be an actor.
I do. I absolutely do. But i don't want to live in my car while persuing a dream and I know that some people have and they made it. If God tells me to quit my job and live in my car until I get a brake out roll to launch my career I'll do that. If He tells me to get a new or a different job, I'll do that. But I beleive these promotions are from God and this job is a means to an end: that being to support me as I persue acting here in LA.
But I have made some progress on that side to. I am developing connections. I have just recently finished writing a screenplay and I am almost through with the first draft of revisions. I have acted in a friend's music video. I also signed up with LA Casting and Central Casting.
So here is my new plan for the coming year: As a unit trainer I make a base salery for an additional 8hrs of work on top of my shifts and commission. This means I can potentially take off a week from shifts in January to audition, work the 8hrs to get the base pay while I still have commission coming in from my trainees. I can start shopping my script, and potentially play the lead in it. Or produce it myself on a lower budget. I can move into my own house/appartment...
Little by little by little... I am making progress. But most important is that I make progress in my walk with God. That at every step i draw nearer to Him. And what I want for the coming days, months and years more than anything is to walk in God's empowering Grace and to strengthan my relationship with him.
This is Red Sonja. (Pronounced: Sonya, with a long o)
She is the Title Character for one my favorite 80's Fantasy/adventure movies and my childhood heroin.
I have fond memories of making my two best friends in 1st grade, Jacob and Jarod, play "Red Sonja" with me. I always won, of course. I always loved that she would never marry any man who could not best her in battle.
And yes she rocks a mullet. :) Classic 80's.
So after planning a very detailed version of Poison Ivy... I think I really want to be Red Sonja for Halloween. She just kiccks ass. Litterally.
And if you have never seen the movie, please watch it.
I need $1363.90 to join AFTRA. So i can act on/audition for TV shows. Anyone who wants to make a donation is more than welcome. Comment below.
I have a lot of friends who like to party...
I don't want that anymore.
I'm actually for the first time in my life starting to think about what kind of long lasting relationships I want to have: marriage and who do I want to keep in my inner circle.
I need the people around me to all have similar morals and a strong code of ethics. I don't need for all of my friends to think the same things as I do. I need to hear differing opinions, but I also need moral support.
Is this what it's like getting older: "...putting away childish things..."
It seems difficult, extremely difficult, to guard your heart and you mind. There are so many terrible images, words, thoughts that try to push into your mind and take root there. Especially here in LA. And I wasn't really paying attention until recently, but now I see it. I see it everywhere on billboards, radio stations, TV shows, movies...everywhere you turn.
So I need good people around me to encourage me to be a better person, a better christian, just better. Life is too short and too precious to waste. I have too much to accomplish to let myself get sidetracked.
I'm just thinking...
I don't want that anymore.
I'm actually for the first time in my life starting to think about what kind of long lasting relationships I want to have: marriage and who do I want to keep in my inner circle.
I need the people around me to all have similar morals and a strong code of ethics. I don't need for all of my friends to think the same things as I do. I need to hear differing opinions, but I also need moral support.
Is this what it's like getting older: "...putting away childish things..."
It seems difficult, extremely difficult, to guard your heart and you mind. There are so many terrible images, words, thoughts that try to push into your mind and take root there. Especially here in LA. And I wasn't really paying attention until recently, but now I see it. I see it everywhere on billboards, radio stations, TV shows, movies...everywhere you turn.
So I need good people around me to encourage me to be a better person, a better christian, just better. Life is too short and too precious to waste. I have too much to accomplish to let myself get sidetracked.
I'm just thinking...
I have a habbit of running away from arguments. Not all. And not right away. But always when the other person begins spewing words so quickly and forcefully that I can't get a word in/ I feel they are no longer listening to me. At this point I don't know what to do so I hang up the phone or walk away or push that person out the door.
And I don't know...maybe this is a bit childish of me. ...but it usually works out. I mean when an argument reaches that point it isn't rational anyway...so why keep going right?
So recently I have begun to wonder...is there a better way? If so what is that?
And I don't know...maybe this is a bit childish of me. ...but it usually works out. I mean when an argument reaches that point it isn't rational anyway...so why keep going right?
So recently I have begun to wonder...is there a better way? If so what is that?
Tomorrow I'm flying out of LA to Minneaposlis. I have a one hour layover in TX on... the way?? Anyway, the connecting flight is 2816. And I thought, whoah....aren't those part of The NUMBERS? ...well no, no not quite. It's 16 23, not 16 28...would have been quite trippy though, eh?
But as I was searching the net to doube check my recolection, I found this:
www.thelostnumbers.blogspot.com
Check it out (Rachel, this means you). Some one has gone through a lot of trouble noting everytime one of the numbers in the sequence has been mentioned throughout the series. Is it possible that every significant number relates back to the hatch? What is that thing???
Please chck it out,and discuss so that I know I'm not the only crazy losty here.
But as I was searching the net to doube check my recolection, I found this:
www.thelostnumbers.blogspot.com
Check it out (Rachel, this means you). Some one has gone through a lot of trouble noting everytime one of the numbers in the sequence has been mentioned throughout the series. Is it possible that every significant number relates back to the hatch? What is that thing???
Please chck it out,and discuss so that I know I'm not the only crazy losty here.
The Lord is my shepard;
I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside still waters;
He restores my soul.
Even in the vally of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil.
Your rod and your staff
They comfort me
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies
You annoint my head with oil
My cup overflows
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
~Psalm 23
That's a little something that has been helping me get through the past few weeks here.
It's interesting. The more I read the Psalms the more I realize that David really did not have it easy. I mean he really didn't. He always came out on top holding to his faith, but he was always batteling something. I can identify with that.
***
I had an Audition with "Wild Models" apparently a butique agency. Wasn't really sure what the audition was...it sorta came out of the blue. Anyway they like my look and they want to work with me.
One small-ish snag:
I need a compcard to work...and I don't have one. I do understand that I need it. Their clients are all higher end. The jobs all pay $1000 to $2500 per day, and they make 20% of my pay...so they want me to book the job and that means looking professional when I go in for it.
I don't have enough god photos for them to make a comp card so: I need to get pictures done. They have someone who can do it...for...$850. Ouch!!!!! They need $300 up front to book the shoot because they can't afford to book it if I flaked. This does make sense.
But I have always been warned of being forced to pay to work. You never pay to work!!!
So the question is: Are they legit? And here is what I have to do to find out: 1. Can I get a comp card done by someone else? 2. If no, Can I just pay the $300 up front and can they take the rest out of my first job? If they will do either, I accept them as a legitamet agency, if no I think I will have to walk away.
***
I leave for minneapolis on Monday should be fun. Feels a little surreal to be going....but I am. I'll be in Phoenix for the 4th.
I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside still waters;
He restores my soul.
Even in the vally of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil.
Your rod and your staff
They comfort me
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies
You annoint my head with oil
My cup overflows
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
~Psalm 23
That's a little something that has been helping me get through the past few weeks here.
It's interesting. The more I read the Psalms the more I realize that David really did not have it easy. I mean he really didn't. He always came out on top holding to his faith, but he was always batteling something. I can identify with that.
***
I had an Audition with "Wild Models" apparently a butique agency. Wasn't really sure what the audition was...it sorta came out of the blue. Anyway they like my look and they want to work with me.
One small-ish snag:
I need a compcard to work...and I don't have one. I do understand that I need it. Their clients are all higher end. The jobs all pay $1000 to $2500 per day, and they make 20% of my pay...so they want me to book the job and that means looking professional when I go in for it.
I don't have enough god photos for them to make a comp card so: I need to get pictures done. They have someone who can do it...for...$850. Ouch!!!!! They need $300 up front to book the shoot because they can't afford to book it if I flaked. This does make sense.
But I have always been warned of being forced to pay to work. You never pay to work!!!
So the question is: Are they legit? And here is what I have to do to find out: 1. Can I get a comp card done by someone else? 2. If no, Can I just pay the $300 up front and can they take the rest out of my first job? If they will do either, I accept them as a legitamet agency, if no I think I will have to walk away.
***
I leave for minneapolis on Monday should be fun. Feels a little surreal to be going....but I am. I'll be in Phoenix for the 4th.
Ho hum...
I have been writing alot lately....I am going to finnish my script this year!
But that also means that writing has become work....but it's still fun.
I keep going through little changes. I don't know if anyone can see them and I don't know how to explain it. Most recently I realize I have allowd people to treat me a certain way that I never should have. "HOW DARE YOU!" I heard the words on the radio by fate and they remain ringing in my ears. I thought, how dare I allow it. I can't and I won't.
I saw the new Terminator movie. One of the previews was for the new Transformers movie...it gave me a Mattatack all of a sudden and without warning...and then it turned into a Lizatack... I miss him. I miss her. Don't worry, I heald it together. No one would have understood if they saw me crying in the middle of a fun action packed movie trailer.
I'm going to Minnisota. I am a trainer now. So I'll be going to train some people in the new Unit they are opening up there. Sounds exciting. I am excited. But it will be another month away from LA. Away from my fragile network I should be building. I just hope I'm not getting sucked into a Jesco career bubble. I really to get out there and do something...I just seem to be to busy all the time to submit for extra work. Guess I should go find some auditions, just something...not sure where to go. I just know I need to ffinish this script!
I have been writing alot lately....I am going to finnish my script this year!
But that also means that writing has become work....but it's still fun.
I keep going through little changes. I don't know if anyone can see them and I don't know how to explain it. Most recently I realize I have allowd people to treat me a certain way that I never should have. "HOW DARE YOU!" I heard the words on the radio by fate and they remain ringing in my ears. I thought, how dare I allow it. I can't and I won't.
I saw the new Terminator movie. One of the previews was for the new Transformers movie...it gave me a Mattatack all of a sudden and without warning...and then it turned into a Lizatack... I miss him. I miss her. Don't worry, I heald it together. No one would have understood if they saw me crying in the middle of a fun action packed movie trailer.
I'm going to Minnisota. I am a trainer now. So I'll be going to train some people in the new Unit they are opening up there. Sounds exciting. I am excited. But it will be another month away from LA. Away from my fragile network I should be building. I just hope I'm not getting sucked into a Jesco career bubble. I really to get out there and do something...I just seem to be to busy all the time to submit for extra work. Guess I should go find some auditions, just something...not sure where to go. I just know I need to ffinish this script!
Last month when I was forst approached to work a Navy base near Seattle WA, I was so excited I immediately saud yes. Maybe I should have asked a few questions first, but I really didn't care because I miss my family so very much and being so close to them for 2 weeks was just an opportunity I couldn't pass up. So, when they asked me to stay and work a second base after, I would as long as I could have at least 3 days off in between to visit my family. Not a problem.
Well a couple days ago I learned that someone decided to change their mind. I don't know why but they asked for and got approval to open the next base earlier. So now I only have one day off in between. Tough I was very unhappy with this change when I read the e-mail, I couldn't find a logical reason for refusing to open early. Oh I could say, "You promised!!" like a spoiled child. OR "I need to rest!" but I know they can easily refute these things. "We have to do what is best for the company, you had two days off during the 11 day run...etc..." and so I told them that I was officially, reluctantly agreeing. I thought that i could have peace with that.
But now as I get closer to that time I was supposed to have off and see my aunts and cousins and grandparents...that time I was supposed to spend running joyfully around Portland and out with my cousin for her b-day... the more I wish I refused. And I can't help it, but I am upset that we are opening on tuesday instead of thursday. I am frustrated that I don't even know what time I'm expected to be at the new base on Tuesday. And I need to vent about it. I need to let that out. ...and I need to make sure that I don't write anything to negative about it on facebook because my coworkers/managers might see it.
I want to be adult about all this. At the same time I want to make sure they aren't walking all over me.
...sigh... This feels like a reoccuring problem of my life. When will I finally overcome it for good?
Well a couple days ago I learned that someone decided to change their mind. I don't know why but they asked for and got approval to open the next base earlier. So now I only have one day off in between. Tough I was very unhappy with this change when I read the e-mail, I couldn't find a logical reason for refusing to open early. Oh I could say, "You promised!!" like a spoiled child. OR "I need to rest!" but I know they can easily refute these things. "We have to do what is best for the company, you had two days off during the 11 day run...etc..." and so I told them that I was officially, reluctantly agreeing. I thought that i could have peace with that.
But now as I get closer to that time I was supposed to have off and see my aunts and cousins and grandparents...that time I was supposed to spend running joyfully around Portland and out with my cousin for her b-day... the more I wish I refused. And I can't help it, but I am upset that we are opening on tuesday instead of thursday. I am frustrated that I don't even know what time I'm expected to be at the new base on Tuesday. And I need to vent about it. I need to let that out. ...and I need to make sure that I don't write anything to negative about it on facebook because my coworkers/managers might see it.
I want to be adult about all this. At the same time I want to make sure they aren't walking all over me.
...sigh... This feels like a reoccuring problem of my life. When will I finally overcome it for good?
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I have for a while been annoyed about the massive "controversy" over the first dog. Even the Obama Dog gets massive coverage. What the duce? Remember how rediculouse it was when the Bushes aired the Barny Cam? And now I feel that everyone is scrambling to find out what dog the Obamas picked and did he keep his proise to choose one from a shelter and is it a big deal that he didn't?!?!?!!??? Why is this news? When was the first dog ever news? And why is it so irksome?
I've been annoyed about the media's double presidential standard for a while, but I honestly don't consider myself a staunch Conservative (much more middle of the road). And I really don't have anything major against our Prez or the first family. So I definately don't feel like "their being unfair to the ex-fam...boo...they didn't care as much about W and his dogs."
It's just flat annoying that one side of the proverbial aisle is "cooler" than the other. Is the reining first dog really better than his predescessors just because he's an Obama and a Democrat? Really? Is this High School? (And by "High School" I mean one out of a bad tean movie that is completely segregated into cliques.) Aren't we a country of equality? Aren't we above media hype and controversy over a dog just because he pees on one the white house lawn?
Granted it's entertaining to see the girls with their pup. It's nice to see every first family act as a family. However, that should really be the end of the story: President Obama, loving father, bought a cute little puppy for his girls. THE END.
I am in the great Northwest.
Oh how I love and miss the beautiful, green, hilly, mountainous northwest. Yes, I even miss her rain. I miss the magical forrests and the grey coastline. I miss the great wide rivers and tall towers of her cities.
I feel like I'm plugged into a power socket and getting recharged. I'm going to be up here for a bit longer than I thought...but I feel that this is a much needed trip and it will be just long enough.
So I am working at 3 bases here not two. Eleven days at each base, with a couple days off in between. That is a long stay. I will see you soon again, LA. And when I do I will be fully recharged and ready to take you on. Will you be ready?
Heehee.
I am angry at the Italian Prossecuter who is blinded by fear of demons and the occult and an over "righteous" morality. Honestly, he is clearly ignoring the facts of the case and looking not with an unbiased eye for the truth but for support of his preconcieved theories. I'm not saying that the girl is innocent or not but I wish that for her sake the real facts of the murder would at least be considered. Perhaps this comes only from my own skewed perspective: that of an American girl who watches perhaps a little too much crime drama... But logic and the search for truth should compel one to honestly consider the facts of the case rather than making them up. I question his sanity!!!
I am missing my friends: Liz, little Caitlin, Monica, Betty....all of you whom I have been away from for far too long. But this feels right, right now. I am...alone...truely in a way that I am not in LA. And I think for now it's good.
I miss you and I love you and I will see you all as quickly as I can. Smooches!
You know when you just meet someone and there is just something so attractive about them that you want to talk to them more and find out about them? There is something so intriguing about them that you are, to put it basely, attracted: drawn by some unseen force to their presence.
I would call this phenomenon a crush.
Now, there are some who immediately to jump to romantic conclusions over an initial crush like this. In extreme cases this is called Erotomania. In less extreme cases this is childish at best, possibly desperate...etc...
There are many reactions from which to choose when presented with a crush. Mine is nothing like the above.
I value friendship. I love having a strong intricate network/web of relationships, something I'm working on building here in LA. So for me to meet someone and see that instant spark of kindred attraction does not invoke the "romantic daydreaming" reaction. I'm quite open to all possible routs that our relationship may take whether that is a short dead end or a long winding road.
But I reserve romantic inclinations to a time after I've gotten to know this new person. I admit there are times in the past when a crush has been combined with a mutual physical attraction and I have jumped over board... But I like to think that by now I'm more level headed than that as result of learning from past mistakes.
Which brings me finally to my point:
Since moving to LA I have had several opportunities to meet new people. There is a guy who I met recently who had something about him that I knew immediately I wanted to get to know. Now some of my surrounding friends picked up on my interest and moved in attempts at matchmaking that made me feel uncomfortable. I don't want to hook with up him or even make out with him especially after I just met him. (Especially when I just got off work and I'm all smelly and gross.) He just seems nice: a person one ought to know. I am in no way on the prowl. Finally, I would hate for anyone to have the first impression of me being in anyway "thrust upon them."
No no it's all terrible. But I have no worries about it at all.
So I guess this a venting: but also a plead: Please don't throw me on any guy whether I'm attracted or not. It just isn't Natalie.
I would call this phenomenon a crush.
Now, there are some who immediately to jump to romantic conclusions over an initial crush like this. In extreme cases this is called Erotomania. In less extreme cases this is childish at best, possibly desperate...etc...
There are many reactions from which to choose when presented with a crush. Mine is nothing like the above.
I value friendship. I love having a strong intricate network/web of relationships, something I'm working on building here in LA. So for me to meet someone and see that instant spark of kindred attraction does not invoke the "romantic daydreaming" reaction. I'm quite open to all possible routs that our relationship may take whether that is a short dead end or a long winding road.
But I reserve romantic inclinations to a time after I've gotten to know this new person. I admit there are times in the past when a crush has been combined with a mutual physical attraction and I have jumped over board... But I like to think that by now I'm more level headed than that as result of learning from past mistakes.
Which brings me finally to my point:
Since moving to LA I have had several opportunities to meet new people. There is a guy who I met recently who had something about him that I knew immediately I wanted to get to know. Now some of my surrounding friends picked up on my interest and moved in attempts at matchmaking that made me feel uncomfortable. I don't want to hook with up him or even make out with him especially after I just met him. (Especially when I just got off work and I'm all smelly and gross.) He just seems nice: a person one ought to know. I am in no way on the prowl. Finally, I would hate for anyone to have the first impression of me being in anyway "thrust upon them."
No no it's all terrible. But I have no worries about it at all.
So I guess this a venting: but also a plead: Please don't throw me on any guy whether I'm attracted or not. It just isn't Natalie.
This is in response to Google's current honor of The Hungry Little Catapiller. Did you know that they sell at least 0ne copie every 30 seconds?
My mom has been bugging me for years to write and illustrate Children's books. Never had a ton of interest/confidence in it... but now I wonder... What the heck am I thinking? I'm in the wrong business!
...So maybe I'll get on that. :P
My mom has been bugging me for years to write and illustrate Children's books. Never had a ton of interest/confidence in it... but now I wonder... What the heck am I thinking? I'm in the wrong business!
...So maybe I'll get on that. :P
I absolutely blows my mind every time I watch it.
So here are some questions I have:
Why does Horace hate trees so much? The first time we see him is as an apparition replaying his last minutes of life in perpetual loop while doing what? Chopping trees. Then when we see him again in 1977 he's blowing the trees up in a drunken stuper.
How will Sun and the Pilot get back to 1977?
And more to the Point: Why isn't Locke with them? Will he have to join up with Ben to get back to 1977 as well? Or is he even supposed to go back there?
I'm completely on board with Kate who asked: "What do we do now?" Really what are they supposed to do now? They were all told that they had to go back to the island or everyone they left behind would die. But, it seems that most of them have died anyway. What are they meant to do to preserve life, or does their mere presence create some sort of stability that the island needs?
And what about the babies?
What happpend to Aaron? And how is Sun ok with leaving her Daughter behind? Especially in what we can only assume is the care of her seriousely messed up parents? Perhaps her goal in returning to the Island is to bring Jinn back with her so they can have a happy family back home. I hope that when Jinn and Sun re-unite they chat it up in Korean. I miss the other languanges in the show.
These are my questions. I'm not super concerned with the smoke monsters. I'll be fine if they turn out to be a McGuffin; origin unknown, defence system. But we have seen them recoil in the presence of certain peoples. How interesting that some people are not considered "Dangerous" while others clearly are.
For anyone reading Entertainment Weekly's Doc Jensen articles, you are familiar with the theory that the Swan symbol is actually a snake. If he turns out to be correct, this could be yet another nod to the Little Prince. In that story the Little Prince asks the narrorater to draw a sheep, but because he doesn't know what one looks like, he draws instead a Python (snake) with an Elephant in his belly. This is an image that could be similar to a swan... but what would that mean about Dharma?
So here are some questions I have:
Why does Horace hate trees so much? The first time we see him is as an apparition replaying his last minutes of life in perpetual loop while doing what? Chopping trees. Then when we see him again in 1977 he's blowing the trees up in a drunken stuper.
How will Sun and the Pilot get back to 1977?
And more to the Point: Why isn't Locke with them? Will he have to join up with Ben to get back to 1977 as well? Or is he even supposed to go back there?
I'm completely on board with Kate who asked: "What do we do now?" Really what are they supposed to do now? They were all told that they had to go back to the island or everyone they left behind would die. But, it seems that most of them have died anyway. What are they meant to do to preserve life, or does their mere presence create some sort of stability that the island needs?
And what about the babies?
What happpend to Aaron? And how is Sun ok with leaving her Daughter behind? Especially in what we can only assume is the care of her seriousely messed up parents? Perhaps her goal in returning to the Island is to bring Jinn back with her so they can have a happy family back home. I hope that when Jinn and Sun re-unite they chat it up in Korean. I miss the other languanges in the show.
These are my questions. I'm not super concerned with the smoke monsters. I'll be fine if they turn out to be a McGuffin; origin unknown, defence system. But we have seen them recoil in the presence of certain peoples. How interesting that some people are not considered "Dangerous" while others clearly are.
For anyone reading Entertainment Weekly's Doc Jensen articles, you are familiar with the theory that the Swan symbol is actually a snake. If he turns out to be correct, this could be yet another nod to the Little Prince. In that story the Little Prince asks the narrorater to draw a sheep, but because he doesn't know what one looks like, he draws instead a Python (snake) with an Elephant in his belly. This is an image that could be similar to a swan... but what would that mean about Dharma?
President Barack Obama on Monday cleared the way for a significant increase in federal dollars for embryonic stem cell research and promised no scientific data will be 'distorted or concealed to serve a political agenda.'
~Philip Elliot, Yahoo News, Monday 3-8-09
Really? We really need to spend more federal money on embriotic stem cell research? Really! Because there are still people who don't have jobs. Or healthcare. Really! Do we really need to borrow more money that we don't have for issues that are really not immediately threatening? Really?? Because Americans are still loosing their houses! No what we really need is to throw more government money from our already empty and indebted pockets to secondary and tirtiary issues. Really!? Really, getting out of the war can wait. Really, we can wait for the healthcare you promised. No Really we can wait for jobs to increase. Really, our country can fall deeper in dept for the sake of increased reaserch funding. Really! Because thats whats really important? Really? Really.
Friends come in. Friends go out. Few remain and for those I am eternally grateful.
I feel very poitive and on top of things right now. I just went out of town to work for a few days and boy did I need it. Just to get out of town and feel like I'm working for myself again; what a joy! And naturally my number increased. Yaya!
I feel happy and encouraged and... tired.
I feel very poitive and on top of things right now. I just went out of town to work for a few days and boy did I need it. Just to get out of town and feel like I'm working for myself again; what a joy! And naturally my number increased. Yaya!
I feel happy and encouraged and... tired.
I am now 25 years old. :)
My mom came out to visit me. She flew in to LAX on Thursday 2-19-09 nd we headed out to Disneyland where I got to go in for free. We had a great day at the park. We saw Mary Poppins (whom I have never ran into before) and some pirates sang me ...well... part of a birthday song.
"So it's your birthday?"Says he. "We hear it's customary to give presents on your birthday." He flips out his hat, "so what did you bring us?"
"Um...." stammers I, thinking I could blow a kiss into that hat or something, but I didn't really have the guts to do it. Apparently, I forgot to bring a gift.
It was a ton of fun.
My mom beat me at the Buzz Lightyear game. How did she beat my score???
Photos coming soon. :)
My mom came out to visit me. She flew in to LAX on Thursday 2-19-09 nd we headed out to Disneyland where I got to go in for free. We had a great day at the park. We saw Mary Poppins (whom I have never ran into before) and some pirates sang me ...well... part of a birthday song.
"So it's your birthday?"Says he. "We hear it's customary to give presents on your birthday." He flips out his hat, "so what did you bring us?"
"Um...." stammers I, thinking I could blow a kiss into that hat or something, but I didn't really have the guts to do it. Apparently, I forgot to bring a gift.
It was a ton of fun.
My mom beat me at the Buzz Lightyear game. How did she beat my score???
Photos coming soon. :)
It is a little more difficult than I tought. I mean I really usually only want to post when I have something of note to post... And I haven't been feeling noteworthy. But I search to fill the promise I made to Liz, to post often about everything.
Something has changed within me...something is not the same... When I was hit by that barage of arguments to change my mind on thursday morning I knew it was done, over, finnished. Have you ever felt a friendship die? I did. And I have been wondering ever since that moment if it had to die, if it really was dead, and finally if he knew it died. ...but I haven't heard anything at all from him. I surmise it is dead and he knows.
And today I miss my friend. I miss the good days. I miss the good times. It has been 6 days, am I overreacting? overanalysing? Oh I try not to care.
So what else. My voice started getting hoarse on Saturday. It was completely gone on Sunday but I still had to go to work until someone could come in ('til 230). It started coming back yesterday and today it feels worse. I finally have a day off tomorrow. I should go try to find something to take for it. I'm quite done with having a soar throat and a raspy voice. I want to be able to work at a full capasity, so I need to recover...but what if no one can take my shift? then I have to work and talk for 30 min streight every hour. This not fealing well is annoying. And I think it has alot to do with how cold the condo is.
I have joined Top Chef Night with Rachel and Julia and Josh and Clint and everyone else. It's nice to have reconnected with them. All of the new people I have met there are really amazing and I'm a little interested in "excited" Josh (not stamen). There is a slight height issue that makes me hesitant, but I am drawn to his intensity, not gonna lie. Speaking of honesty, Julia's new boyfriend reminds me of an ex of mine and I have a difficult time warming to him. But we have only just met so I reserve conclusions for later.
My birthday is next week. My mom is flying into town on thursday morning, I'm picking her up and we're heading streight over to Disney Land. She's staying until sunday. Dad comes in on Saturday. The original plan was for her to stay with me (I have two beds in my room) for a couple of nights until my Dad comes in so they can save on Hotel costs. Unfortunately, some agents (a couple) from out of state are moving into LA and need to crash at the condo for a few days until they find an appartment. My manager wants me to sleep up in the loft while they are here. But, "You don't have to move your things out of the closet, they said they can live out of their suitcases..." We'll see what happens. I don't think I'm going to move anything out of the room until they get here and that will be on friday? Blah. I'm not worried. I beleive that God has my back and he will sort everything out to the best of all involved. Besides I think it would be more uncomfortable for them to sleep in the room with me coming in whenever I need to for clothes...that's really less privacy than the loft.
That's everything that is going on in my life right now. Oh and also I try to text Liz everyday...My text is getting full.
Something has changed within me...something is not the same... When I was hit by that barage of arguments to change my mind on thursday morning I knew it was done, over, finnished. Have you ever felt a friendship die? I did. And I have been wondering ever since that moment if it had to die, if it really was dead, and finally if he knew it died. ...but I haven't heard anything at all from him. I surmise it is dead and he knows.
And today I miss my friend. I miss the good days. I miss the good times. It has been 6 days, am I overreacting? overanalysing? Oh I try not to care.
So what else. My voice started getting hoarse on Saturday. It was completely gone on Sunday but I still had to go to work until someone could come in ('til 230). It started coming back yesterday and today it feels worse. I finally have a day off tomorrow. I should go try to find something to take for it. I'm quite done with having a soar throat and a raspy voice. I want to be able to work at a full capasity, so I need to recover...but what if no one can take my shift? then I have to work and talk for 30 min streight every hour. This not fealing well is annoying. And I think it has alot to do with how cold the condo is.
I have joined Top Chef Night with Rachel and Julia and Josh and Clint and everyone else. It's nice to have reconnected with them. All of the new people I have met there are really amazing and I'm a little interested in "excited" Josh (not stamen). There is a slight height issue that makes me hesitant, but I am drawn to his intensity, not gonna lie. Speaking of honesty, Julia's new boyfriend reminds me of an ex of mine and I have a difficult time warming to him. But we have only just met so I reserve conclusions for later.
My birthday is next week. My mom is flying into town on thursday morning, I'm picking her up and we're heading streight over to Disney Land. She's staying until sunday. Dad comes in on Saturday. The original plan was for her to stay with me (I have two beds in my room) for a couple of nights until my Dad comes in so they can save on Hotel costs. Unfortunately, some agents (a couple) from out of state are moving into LA and need to crash at the condo for a few days until they find an appartment. My manager wants me to sleep up in the loft while they are here. But, "You don't have to move your things out of the closet, they said they can live out of their suitcases..." We'll see what happens. I don't think I'm going to move anything out of the room until they get here and that will be on friday? Blah. I'm not worried. I beleive that God has my back and he will sort everything out to the best of all involved. Besides I think it would be more uncomfortable for them to sleep in the room with me coming in whenever I need to for clothes...that's really less privacy than the loft.
That's everything that is going on in my life right now. Oh and also I try to text Liz everyday...My text is getting full.
I hear myself talking about stupid things. I go on and on about my job and where I live and the weather or the ocean... all these these things that have only to do with me.
What I really want to talk about is something more important: something less selfish.
And what comes to mind is how great it feels after you have a really big poo. You know that feeling like you are suddenly ten pounds lighter? No that's not it. That's not the importance I'm looking for. But maybe I can work from that to somethingelse.
I feel almost as if I don't deserve to miss Matt as much as I do. I feel that I took him for granted. Maybe I had him on a pedestal and didn't think I deserved to hang out with him. Isn't that silly? And I tried to prove it to... I don't know who... or why because Matt really wasn't the kind of person to make you prove yourself.
It's amazing how everyone seems to have the same favorite Matt highlights. Hugs. Heart. Technnology. Knowledge. He was as eager to share his knowledge as he was to learn it.
My favorite thing, the memory that comes back to me over and over is when I told him that I thought school just wasn't for me. I was frustrated. But he didn't give me any of the hmm...ok maybe you're right...don't finnish... No I think that was the only time I saw him get upset. He wouldn't let me quit. He wouldn't even validate that mindset. If he didn't react like that I would have convinced myself that I could never go back to school. But I can't dissappoint Matt. So I don't know when or how but I will go back to school and get my Degree. I will find classes and any other way I can to continue learning more and more and so honor Matt that way.
What I really want to talk about is something more important: something less selfish.
And what comes to mind is how great it feels after you have a really big poo. You know that feeling like you are suddenly ten pounds lighter? No that's not it. That's not the importance I'm looking for. But maybe I can work from that to somethingelse.
I feel almost as if I don't deserve to miss Matt as much as I do. I feel that I took him for granted. Maybe I had him on a pedestal and didn't think I deserved to hang out with him. Isn't that silly? And I tried to prove it to... I don't know who... or why because Matt really wasn't the kind of person to make you prove yourself.
It's amazing how everyone seems to have the same favorite Matt highlights. Hugs. Heart. Technnology. Knowledge. He was as eager to share his knowledge as he was to learn it.
My favorite thing, the memory that comes back to me over and over is when I told him that I thought school just wasn't for me. I was frustrated. But he didn't give me any of the hmm...ok maybe you're right...don't finnish... No I think that was the only time I saw him get upset. He wouldn't let me quit. He wouldn't even validate that mindset. If he didn't react like that I would have convinced myself that I could never go back to school. But I can't dissappoint Matt. So I don't know when or how but I will go back to school and get my Degree. I will find classes and any other way I can to continue learning more and more and so honor Matt that way.
The below was meant to be published a week ago....
I love my church!
I went to the Saturday night service because I have to work in the morning; it is very little like a regular Sunday service. Although, to be honest very little about this church is regular.
Most people I've met have an experience of Christianity that is something akin to a scene from Borat. To be fair, I've had my share of those experiences as well. Still, I have always seen God as an all loving being. Someone who loves us unconditionally, so much so that He won't interfere with our free will and lets us make mistakes and go through trials so we can grow stronger.
And at the LA Dream center they really take that to heart. The love is palpable when you enter the St Angelus Temple. Nothing stuffy about it. In fact you might be confused when you enter as to whether this is a church or a concert center.
It is so strange in that regard, so different, that I was thrown completely off guard. ...Still am... Tonight felt like a dream, yet it was real.
You know when you see something amazing on YouTube and you want to tell all of your friends about it so they can see how amazing it is too, and you publish the link on MySpace and Facebook and Blogspot and everywhere else you can, and you tell everyone to go look at it, and when you are with a friend and near the computer you pull it up and show them? That's how I feel about this church. I want everyone I know to go with me and see how cool church can be. Come see how much fun church can be. See it doesn't have to be stuffy. See how loving these people are? This is why I'm a Christian.
I cannot begin to express how much...no wait I can: It's like LOST, for those of you who follow it, when you hit a cliff hanger and you have no idea how you can possibly make it through the week to see what happens next. I've been going to church for my whole life and I have never wondered, "when can I go back? Do I really have to wait until Sunday?" but I do, now. And I have a really hard time leaving after service. I leave because I can't find an excuse to stay but I'm looking for one.
Part of this is being here alone. Part of this is going without my Parents. I think a big part of why I needed to move here is so I could start going to church without them. So i can be myself. I am an imperfect person and I really feel like belong to this misfit croud that attends church here. No judgement. No guilt. Only Love.
So tonight I remembered what that woman looks like that I'm trying to be: Loving like Christ.
I went to the Saturday night service because I have to work in the morning; it is very little like a regular Sunday service. Although, to be honest very little about this church is regular.
Most people I've met have an experience of Christianity that is something akin to a scene from Borat. To be fair, I've had my share of those experiences as well. Still, I have always seen God as an all loving being. Someone who loves us unconditionally, so much so that He won't interfere with our free will and lets us make mistakes and go through trials so we can grow stronger.
And at the LA Dream center they really take that to heart. The love is palpable when you enter the St Angelus Temple. Nothing stuffy about it. In fact you might be confused when you enter as to whether this is a church or a concert center.
It is so strange in that regard, so different, that I was thrown completely off guard. ...Still am... Tonight felt like a dream, yet it was real.
You know when you see something amazing on YouTube and you want to tell all of your friends about it so they can see how amazing it is too, and you publish the link on MySpace and Facebook and Blogspot and everywhere else you can, and you tell everyone to go look at it, and when you are with a friend and near the computer you pull it up and show them? That's how I feel about this church. I want everyone I know to go with me and see how cool church can be. Come see how much fun church can be. See it doesn't have to be stuffy. See how loving these people are? This is why I'm a Christian.
I cannot begin to express how much...no wait I can: It's like LOST, for those of you who follow it, when you hit a cliff hanger and you have no idea how you can possibly make it through the week to see what happens next. I've been going to church for my whole life and I have never wondered, "when can I go back? Do I really have to wait until Sunday?" but I do, now. And I have a really hard time leaving after service. I leave because I can't find an excuse to stay but I'm looking for one.
Part of this is being here alone. Part of this is going without my Parents. I think a big part of why I needed to move here is so I could start going to church without them. So i can be myself. I am an imperfect person and I really feel like belong to this misfit croud that attends church here. No judgement. No guilt. Only Love.
So tonight I remembered what that woman looks like that I'm trying to be: Loving like Christ.
So, I've been excited all day because I moved my clothes out of the small bedroom and into the Big Bedroom's closet. Yes, after 6 days I finally got to unpack. And I know it's a silly little thing, but it is so very nice to finally be able to see my clothes again and know where things are so I can quickly put an outfit together and maybe rush a little less out the door.
It's a little thing. But I am overjoyed and blessed by it as well as thankful for it.
I have friends who have faith in God, and they aren't crazy religeous fruitcakes. They are regular human beings doing their best to live life to the fullest of God's promise. It has nothing to do with me, but it warms my heart to see them so comfortable in their faith.
It is a little thing, and I am encouraged by it.
I have been reveling in my new independance: renting a room in a condo where no one else lives (at least not perminantly) in a new city. No one is around to tell me what to do or when to do it, for good. I'm strong and all on my own. But I found a little photo of my family from Christmas. And it really is a stupid little thing, but it brought me to tears with missing them.
Thank God for silly little things.
It's a little thing. But I am overjoyed and blessed by it as well as thankful for it.
I have friends who have faith in God, and they aren't crazy religeous fruitcakes. They are regular human beings doing their best to live life to the fullest of God's promise. It has nothing to do with me, but it warms my heart to see them so comfortable in their faith.
It is a little thing, and I am encouraged by it.
I have been reveling in my new independance: renting a room in a condo where no one else lives (at least not perminantly) in a new city. No one is around to tell me what to do or when to do it, for good. I'm strong and all on my own. But I found a little photo of my family from Christmas. And it really is a stupid little thing, but it brought me to tears with missing them.
Thank God for silly little things.